Matrimonio Santo... o algo asi

Well, I talked to my sister Laura for the first time in awhile, and had the privelidge of being the last person to congratulate her on her engagement. Though I´m happily moved into my house, I still have yet to put the finishing touches on my Coconut telephone. But I´m in the city for a couple days running errands, and had a chance to call and talk to her and she let me in on the big news. I´m extraodinarily happy for her and Cody, especially in the context of the culture I´ve been living in.

Upon hearing the news of my sister´s engagement, I thought about how I can now point out all the photos I have of Laura and Cody, and tell my friends hear about how their engaged now, but after thinking about it, ít´s going to be a little difficult to explain.

Traditionaly, marraige doesn´t exist in Emberá culture. It´s a concept introduced by the evangelical missionaries, and it still isn´t very popular. The pastors and a few other families that are involved in the church tell me they´re offically married in the church, but the majority of men show little interest in getting married to their partner any time soon
(Maybe because the spanish word for wife [esposa] is the same word for handcuffs).

As was described to me, the they unite, or move in together. From my own observation, this is how this works. When a woman is between 13-15 years old she moves out of her parents house into another man´s house. They have a couple kids, and the man gets bored and finds another woman and repeats the process, until he´s to old to find another girl to live with. The woman moves back in with her parents, who´s job it is now to take care of their daughter and grandchildren. The woman waits for another chance to move in with another man, usually the children stay with the grandparents. I´m generalizing a bit. Some girls leave to go study and in doing so, put off having children for a few years, and sometimes it´s the woman that leaves the man. But Í´m hard pressed to think of anyone in my community who has been completely monogomous their entire lives, even among church leaders.

It´s easy to do I´m told. A lot less complicated than how I was taught to do things. My host brother Carlos (the one that hunts monkeys) is probably going to be united with a girl pretty soon. They were introduced over the phone, and have apparently had some serious conversations. Her father says he wants Carlos to be her man because he´s a good Christian man. Carlos´s parents who are leaders in the church are very happy for him.

They tell me I could do the same. I tell them I have to leave in two years, and they don´t really see any problems with that. All I have to do is find a girl I think is cute. Tell her dad I think she´s pretty and she´s mine. I´d have my own cook, dishwasher, and laundry maid. Though the idea is enticing in some respects, I can´t help but think of my friend Magnolia. Magnolia has a 6 year old daughter named Estephanie, who´s the daughter of an American who refuses to recognise that she´s his daughter. Occasionally, she tells me about how she almost moved to the United States to be with the father of her daughter, but she decided not to go because in the United States, we don´t have tilapia (the freshwater fish that makes up half their diet), as she laughs to hold back the tears. In short, every conversation about me moving in with a girl ends with me saying. The girls are pretty here, but it´s better if I sleep alone a little bit cold for a couple years.

When I decided to joined the Peace Corps, everyone told me about much more appreciation I´d have for American things, like air conditioning, hot water, chocolate bars, and pizza. It´s true I do appreciate all those things a lot more, and dream of the day I can eat pizza in a hot shower. However this pales in comparison to the appreciation I now have for marriage, and the stability it gives to our families, our culture, and our lives. With this I wish to congratulate Laura and Cody for their decision to enter the covenent of marriage.